A chapter closes

A chapter closes; another one opens. Before I start another, I reflect on what has passed. Page by page float through my memory. Each and everyone has a different story. Not all were happy, but the bad ones easily escaped me. Though I don’t exactly regret them, they’ve provided a learning opportunity. I will remember this chapter fondly. Each piece came together perfectly. Before it fades in memory I better capture it in my diary. It’s going so fast, I can hardly keep a tight grasp. It sometimes seems so overwhelming. So frightening. More chapters will come. Sometimes faster than I try to remember. I like the past. It gives me joy. The future seems to be one big black void. Uncertainty scares me. Characters, settings, and plots I weave together slip by before they are organized properly. Before I could touch it, it’s already part of memory. If only it was as easy to mark the book and freeze the story. But the pages flip by and all too soon again I’d be saying goodbye. So I’d rather savor it page by page. The only way to hold it before all‘s lost and blown away. Aside from freedom, love, friends, and family another wealth that I have is my memory. One chapter closes and I recall it with bittersweet emotions. Another one opens and I look forward to it with calm anticipation.

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I must have been in high school or college when I wrote this. Not the greatest piece but posting it here to remind myself that there’s been process and progress. Also, several chapters have closed on me since. My memory has done poorly to hold on to the wealth. There’s more nostalgia there now than ever before, with what little is left. Nevertheless, still trying to look ahead with calm anticipation.