Family conference with my grandmother’s doctor today. The news wasn’t good, as we expected. But there’s a vast difference between having an inkling how bad something is and actually being educated about the facts. Indeed, ignorance is bliss.

So when I am the only family member in the room with my grandmother, I couldn’t help myself. I only have 18 days left with her. Practically, I won’t be able to come back home for another six months or so. There is a very good chance that I will not be seeing my grandmother alive again after I leave in a few weeks. The tears fall and I try to tell her how I feel, without really telling her. She doesn’t know yet that she has cancer and that she would never heal. She says, “Maayo pa ko.” I’m going to get better.

Her will to live is very strong. It’s her iron will, combined with her total trust in a bigger plan and her go-with-the-flow nature, that has taken her through the deepest tragedies in her life.

As I think of my own personal challenges, particularly my career, sometimes I think I may be trying too hard to go somewhere that’s really not where I’m supposed to be.

Next: Day Four