Though she’s been kept in the dark about the tumor in her liver, she tells me that she isn’t so innocent. She says she knows liver cirrhosis is just as bad as cancer. In her own way, she’s telling me she is aware her days are numbered.

I asked her, in all her wisdom, what advice would she give her great grandchildren to help them deal with life’s challenges. She said, “Don’t expect. Accept what mommy and daddy gives you because they want the best for you.” I believe she also meant being grateful for your lot in life generally. This made so much sense to me. This also reminded me of the only piece of advice that rescued me out of the darkness that threatened to consume me when I was about 14. I was so depressed, I thought of killing myself everyday but was also too afraid to actually carry it through. I did not know what caused my misery, which made it all the more worse. Then one day, while reading on of those teen romance novels, a few sentences saved me, “Don’t expect. Life’s too short to be concerned with what you perceive life should be. Instead, focus on being grateful and what you can do to make others happy.”

My grandmother’s life has been filled with equal parts joy and pain. She’s been widowed twice and buried her first-born son. She’s helped build a successful hotel from the ground-up but has also seen it function as a backdrop to a very painful family feud. She’s seen her share of nearly insurmountable hardship, but has also travelled the world and has managed to provide her family with a life of comfort and privilege. Her advice to her grandchildren articulates her philosophy for living. She simply rolled with the punches and took whatever life threw at her with grace and compassion.

I also learned that as a teenager, she’s gotten offers to be in the movies. (I keep a photo of her as a sixteen year old cover girl). I learned she’s had several suitors but ended up marrying a childhood friend, my biological grandfather, because he was the one who happened to stick around most and, because he was constantly jealous, was so protective of her that other guys just never had the chance. My other grandfather, her second husband, did not formally court her but revealed his intentions through common friends. She didn’t plan to marry again after becoming a young widow, but life has a funny way of working out.

When I asked her if she’s ever been serenaded by a suitor in a traditional harana, she said no. But she did tell a funny story about when her father threw a basin of pee at one of her sister’s suitors who was doing a harana outside their house while drunk. I guess my great grandfather did not like the unfortunate Romeo’s singing.

Well that’s life, you never know what might come your way.

Next: Day Two